As I was doing my daily news checks, I came across an opinion piece on Malay Mail Online that caught my attention. The title reads: “There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women” and was referring to the Facebook group who threatened to spray paint women dressed inappropriately during Thaipusam. I did not manage to find the article to share here, but I thought it was an interesting read (albeit with a few unnecessary references). What I really wanted to talk about was the article’s catchy title, which sparked my interest.
From a general standpoint, I have witnessed so many disagreements, arguments, and uncalled-for negativity shared between groups of women. I don’t know what is it about women, but somehow it is really hard for us to get along fine… (probably explains why there’s no such terms of endearment like ‘bro-mance’ applicable for women relationships.)
I used to be in WhatsApp groups occupied with women,
discussing vilifying other women. To be honest from my experience, “Girl Talk” topics normally consist of 10% on boys, 20% on shopping and 70% on other women. And mind you, it was not a pleasant type of conversation about other women. They are mostly objectifying, criticizing, belittling other women. Examples:
OMG did you hear, S just broke up with T, because she kantoi got other boyfriend. OMG such a slut!
Ala for all we know she wears tudung because it’s the trend now
Seriously what the heck is she wearing, she thinks showing off skin looks sexy? If kena rape then only regret!
All these conversations are so mindless, so vile it makes me sick to the stomach. They are acting like vultures, mercilessly pecking on another vulture’s carcass – not leaving a shred of meat behind.
But of course, these conversations are only 0.3% of the bad things women do to each other. What about those women who physically/verbally abuse other women, women who humiliate other women in public/virtually and women who attempt to (or have succeeded) wrecking another woman’s marriage without her consent, to name a few?
Why do we constantly try to put other women down out of spite? Why do we constantly try to pick point other women’s flaws to make ourselves feel good? Why do we try so hard to ruin other’s happiness because we don’t share the same happiness? Why do we sometimes resort to the act of selfishness instead of regarding how other women would feel, before deciding to backbite/hurt/cheat on the spouse/embarrass them?
I guess it all boils down to inner peace – something rare that not everyone owns. I am still in the pursuit of finding inner peace, and the outcome of doing so is remarkable (when my mind does not misbehave….).
My mantra that I have abide to my whole life is: “Don’t do to others what you don’t like them to do to you. Always, always, put yourself in one’s shoes before doing anything“. Humans are inevitably flawed, but it really helps for you to realize the flaws and keeping them in check. Don’t just “discover and accept”, but rather “discover to improve”.
In this already oppressive world with so much negativity and hate, it is only essential for women to be helping other women. Empower each other, inspire each other, and be happy with each other. Even the smallest gestures can make an impact to others and yourself; share a smile, give genuine compliments, avoid speaking unnecessary thoughts and compete healthily (does not imply to attempts to wreck other people’s marriage obviously).
Hope everyone will strive to advocate peace and love with not just your sisters but with everyone, but just in case another person is inviting you to oppress another women, you can share with them this image:
This will shut them up, haha!