I was once asked a question by a friend that caught me by surprise:
“Zaty, how come you always look so calm and collected? It’s like you are never fazed by anything at all.”
I blinked back, a smile frozen on my face. A thought flashed through my mind:
If only you knew…
Outwardly, I may look calm, but in my mind… it produces a kajilion of ‘what-ifs’ questions every minute and will go ‘boing-boing’ haphazardly in my head – each waiting for their turn to be answered.
I guess I have always been rather good in keeping my emotions in check, probably because I have a strong foundation in accepting occurrences (good or bad) that happen and knowing how to deal with them the right way.
Here are some of the things I practice in attempts to maintain a clear and controlled zen. Hopefully it will be a beneficial read for all of us!
Husnudzon: Think of only the good
I have always challenged myself to constantly weigh the positive more than the negative in every ordeal I go through. In other words – Husnudzon. Which means, “an attitude or state of mind that is prejudiced to good”.
O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.
There’s a fine line between Husnudzon and being gullible. It is not something easy to do because as humans, we tend to be overprotective of our own hearts. We fear pain. We fear the feeling of getting hurt. Which leads to being guarded, suspicious with other’s intents, throwing assumptions and always thinking of the bad things that would happen instead of the good.
There have been a few incidents as to where I got myself badly mistreated due to Husnudzon, and it did not happen once, but uncountable times. I have had to go through moments that caused the trust that I built to shatter into bits and pieces, which in return, turned me into an emotional wreck. It made me question my whole being, my existence, my faith in humanity… I was really lost and subdued. I thought to myself: What is the good in Husnudzon if it is meant to crumble my defences, leaving me vulnerable to things that I know will hurt me?
And then I realized that I have been doing it all wrong. The more I think about it, the more I discovered the need for those incidents to happen. I was fortunate enough to be given the light to learn the truth about the things that had managed to escape my knowing. I would much rather know the truth (no matter how much it stings) than to be lied to.
I learned the hard albeit effective way of the right method to implement Husnudzon in my life. One must first plant the seed of faith in Allah first because obviously everything else is secondary. How can I be hurt, if in the first place I know that Allah can never disappoint His servants? That He will never deliberately burden nor test me beyond what I can bear?
Place your trust in the right place, and InsyaAllah it will not go wrong. Think of only the good, and only the good will come to you.
Having faith in the power of Du’aa
Everyone knows how life is. Sometimes you’re on top of the world, and sometimes you’re at the bottom of the pits.
I learned that when life throws you lemons, you turn them into the most scrumptious Garlic Lemon Butter Salmon dish.
I also learned that when other people throw you sticks and stones, in return you make Du’aa. Lots and lots of Du’aa.
Here are two powerful hadiths that explain why:
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Beware of the supplication of the oppressed, even if he is an unbeliever, for there is no barrier between it and Allah.”
Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas: The Prophet sent Mu’adh to Yemen and said, “Be afraid, from the curse of the oppressed as there is no screen between his invocation and Allah.” (Bukhari)
MasyaAllah, when I first discovered these hadiths, I felt goose bumps all over my body. How just Allah is, that even an unbeliever’s prayers will be answered if he was being oppressed. It taught me enough to never, ever do wrong to others.
This hadith constantly cripples me with fear and it always makes me think twice, thrice before making decisions. Which is honestly good – because it keeps me disciplined and grounded.
Don’t hurt others; either intentionally or unintentionally.
I feel safe and comforted by these hadiths. Whenever I find myself in these kinds of situation, all my desire to take revenge or to do bad things will vanish instantly.
Make Du’aa to Allah. If you truly are a victim of the situation, you are ultimately superior because Du’aa is your strongest weapon against injustice and oppression. Kifarah will take place in ways you would never imagine.
Allah knows, and isn’t that consoling enough to learn?
The bottom line is: Why should you worry, why should you fear, why should you be upset when you know that Allah will always, always have your back? Something to ponder upon.
May Allah ease our paths and keep us under His protection always.